Idio-fools and furbabies
I have been given very strict orders by S to never refer to her as a “single mom” while I’m away at school. The fact that we have pets as opposed to children seems to be at the heart of that demand. For while we refer to each other that way whenever one of us is away and the other is left at home to care for the “furbabies” (another term I have been forbidden to use) as our little joke, oh the crazy hijinks we get up to, I believe she is worried sick that we will appear to be of the childless ilk who insist on treating their four legged housemates as though they were real live human beings. Not just human beings but stupid, helpless creatures who must never be reprimanded or trained so as not to jar their terribly delicate sensibilities. Never mind the suffering sensibilities of those who live among these spoiled temperamental little beasts as they annoy well beyond their body weight.
Why is it that the direst hippies and anarchists just happen to have the most loathsome beasts as pets? People need structure oh “let them be free” idio-fools; animals need boundaries. Think about it – oh right I forgot, you don’t do that kind of thing – it’s too soul-destroying. Well I’ll do it for you then. If we don’t know how we’re supposed to behave, if we don’t know what’s expected of us, we become a quivering mess of insecurities and have a tendency to flail blindly at the world. Imagine what happens in the case of an animal who, despite your imaginings to the contrary, is really not capable of rational thought.
Virtually every dog I know who has an idiot for an owner (note: not a mommy or daddy, unless you’ve initiated a new procreative technique I do not want to know anything about) has a lunatic for a dog. There are half a dozen of them in my rural hippy haven neighbourhood alone, all of whom have, at one time or another, attacked my dog, who while not the brightest lamp in the room, is a sweet and utterly passive beast. That’s not just cruel to my dog, it’s cruel to yours, for your failure to exercise your responsibility for their well-being may actually cause you to be responsible for their death. If you don’t bother to teach them what’s right or wrong they may end up doing something really stupid like bite a child. Then Marlo Thomas could do a follow-up version of her Free To Be You And Me book, except about irresponsible pet owners like you and it would be called Free To Be Put Down.
Well that’s all I have to say about that. Except, I do happen to have a couple of pictures of my darlings that I can post if you’re interested. Just say the word. I mean, so many animals are vile creatures as a result of their bad owners, but well, our precious pretties are different. They’re special. Thanks no doubt to their excellent upbringing by moms who love their little furbabies – oops, looks like I’m headed to the doghouse.
Why is it that the direst hippies and anarchists just happen to have the most loathsome beasts as pets? People need structure oh “let them be free” idio-fools; animals need boundaries. Think about it – oh right I forgot, you don’t do that kind of thing – it’s too soul-destroying. Well I’ll do it for you then. If we don’t know how we’re supposed to behave, if we don’t know what’s expected of us, we become a quivering mess of insecurities and have a tendency to flail blindly at the world. Imagine what happens in the case of an animal who, despite your imaginings to the contrary, is really not capable of rational thought.
Virtually every dog I know who has an idiot for an owner (note: not a mommy or daddy, unless you’ve initiated a new procreative technique I do not want to know anything about) has a lunatic for a dog. There are half a dozen of them in my rural hippy haven neighbourhood alone, all of whom have, at one time or another, attacked my dog, who while not the brightest lamp in the room, is a sweet and utterly passive beast. That’s not just cruel to my dog, it’s cruel to yours, for your failure to exercise your responsibility for their well-being may actually cause you to be responsible for their death. If you don’t bother to teach them what’s right or wrong they may end up doing something really stupid like bite a child. Then Marlo Thomas could do a follow-up version of her Free To Be You And Me book, except about irresponsible pet owners like you and it would be called Free To Be Put Down.
Well that’s all I have to say about that. Except, I do happen to have a couple of pictures of my darlings that I can post if you’re interested. Just say the word. I mean, so many animals are vile creatures as a result of their bad owners, but well, our precious pretties are different. They’re special. Thanks no doubt to their excellent upbringing by moms who love their little furbabies – oops, looks like I’m headed to the doghouse.
posted by Bubbles at 10:20 AM
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